so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
