Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
