We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
