omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
