dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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