I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
