remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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