i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think my moral compass just broke
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
