what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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