i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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