theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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