And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
tell me about the eggs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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