Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(309): View more from Illinois

She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"

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(518): View more from New York

Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(734): View more from Michigan

It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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(310): View more from California

I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked

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(909): View more from California

I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha

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