I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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