He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
