Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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