Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(318): View more from Louisiana

There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

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(631): View more from New York

I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.

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(917): View more from New York City

I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning

(1-917): View more from New York City

I love you more by the minute

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(301): View more from Maryland

Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury

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(906): View more from Michigan

Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.

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(714): View more from California

Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

(951): View more from California

Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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(239): View more from Florida

I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat

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(805): View more from California

How are they?

(310): View more from California

Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!

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