So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
