Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize