I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
