Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
