I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
