I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
