About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
