Me too!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
