we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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