I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
