I wish you could order shots online.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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