after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
