we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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