Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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