No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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