I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
