It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize