Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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