weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
