I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
