let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
