You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
