I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize