fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
