Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
