the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Mom said you looked used
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
