I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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