The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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