3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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