real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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