i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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