I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
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I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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