I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
