We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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