I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
