My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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