It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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