This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
