shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
