Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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