doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
