I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
