just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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