im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
