He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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