Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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