Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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