So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
